Author Archives: dshen@bigpond.net.au

Red rose

Love

I love myself just as I am   – affirmation

In 2000, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach interviewed the late Michael Jackson for a book he was writing. This conversation revealed just how lonely Michael had become.

“I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think of all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That’s all. That’s the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved.” – Michael Jackson

“I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved.” Michael Jackson had hundreds of thousands of fans all over the world. They loved him and his music. Many worshiped him. Yet Michael Jackson was ‘starving’ for love. Why is this so?

Other people may love us. But at the end of the day we have to love and respect ourselves. We find loving ourselves a lot more difficult than loving someone else like a child, our friends or even our pets. We think that to love ourselves we have to be special. Even ‘special’ people like Michael Jackson and Philip Seymour Hoffman, a prolific actor who won an Oscar, ended their lives tragically.

Maybe we think we need a reason to love ourselves. I think the reason we can love ourselves is because we are unique. There is no one else like us, just as no two snowflakes are alike. Snowflakes are not only unique, they are incredibly beautiful.

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I like to think of myself as a unique expression of God, the Universe or the Cosmos. There is a creative force that created us. Robert Fritz, a composer and author, wrote in his book The Path of Least Resistance that: “Then one day, in the middle of composing some music, I suddenly realize that I was composing this music because I loved it enough to see it exist. And I could imagine God creating the world for no other reason than love.”

Yes, we can love and respect ourselves just as we are. We do not have to be perfect or special to love ourselves. Use this affirmation often to remind yourself that you are a unique being. You can  love yourself in spite of imperfections and shortcomings

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Gratitude

I am thankful for everything   – affirmation

When you are in a positive emotional state, you feel good and everything is easier. Your body responds to emotions. Through the use of Kinesiology (study of muscles and their movement), Dr. John Diamond, author of the book Your Body Doesn’t Lie, made the startling discovery that our muscles would strengthen or weaken respectively in the presence of positive or negative emotional, intellectual and physical stimuli. For example:

  • Emotional stimuli. When you have the feeling of gratitude, your muscles go strong. When you feel hate, your muscles go weak.
  • Intellectual stimuli. When you express a positive statement like “I can do it”, your muscles go strong. When you say “I can’t do it”, your muscles go weak.
  • Physical stimuli. Virtually all classical music and most pop music would make your muscles go strong. Most “metal” rock music would make your muscles go weak.

What was amazing with John Diamond’s research was that the results were repeatable and universal and independent of the subjects used to perform the muscle tests. It would appear that our bodies know what is good for us.

John Diamond found that two of the most powerful positive emotions are gratitude and love. Just by saying “thank you”, our muscles go strong. Likewise if we focus our attention on something we love, our muscles go strong.

In his book Life Energy, John Diamond explains that life energy flows in our body through the energy meridians. Negative emotions restrict the flow of the life energy (we don’t feel good). Over a period of time, the restriction in the energy flow can manifest as illness.

By maintaining a positive emotional state, we keep our life energy flowing unrestricted. We feel good and our positive emotions contribute to good health.

Find at least 3 things that you feel grateful for every day. Maybe it is a kind word from someone, or you have learned a new skill or the weather was just great. You don’t have to try very hard because we have so many things to be grateful for.

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Optimism

Things Will Work Out Well For Me   – affirmation

Optimism and hope can contribute significantly to our happiness and success. In the ground breaking book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Coleman states that given the same intellectual abilities, students with optimism and hope tend to do better in their studies based on research. From the perspective of emotional aptitudes, having hope means that one will not give in to overwhelming anxiety or depression in the face of difficult challenges or setbacks.

Optimism means having an expectation that things will turn out all right in life, in spite of frustrations and obstacles. Optimism buffers us from anxiety and depression when we are going through difficult times. Of course, a too-naive optimism can make us unrealistic.

Before we achieve success in an endeavour, we may have to experience failures. According to Winston Churchill Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

People who are optimistic view failure as due to something they can change or as a learning experience. People who are pessimistic ascribe failure to something that they are not capable of changing.

Coleman also states that an optimistic or pessimistic outlook has health consequences. An optimistic outlook aids in the recovery process from an illness. There could be several explanations why this is so. It may be that pessimism leads to depression, which interferes with the immune system. It may also be that optimistic people have better health habits.

Whenever you find yourself starting to worry about something, say to yourself “Things will work out well for me.” Whatever problems you have to solve, you will do better if you stay positive. Solutions come to you more easily and you take things in your stride.

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Confidence

Why Do I Feel So Confident?    – afformation

This affirmation looks a little strange. It is in the form of a question. It is called an afformation. Noah St. John is the author of afformations. Both affirmation and afformations focus on the positive. The difference is that an affirmation uses a statement and an afformation uses a question.

Why are they called afformations? According to Noah, when we ask questions of ourselves, positive or negative, we are really ‘forming new thought patterns’. The word form comes from the Latin formare, which means to form or give shape to. Hence afformations.

You may not realise that we are using afformations all the time. We say to ourselves things like: “Why am I so stupid?” or “Why am I so anxious?” Many if not most of our affomations are negative. When our afformations are negative, they make things worst for us, like we do even more stupid things and we become even more anxious. To turn things around, why not start using positive afformations.

I have competed in many Toastmasters speech contests. As with other contestants, I feel really nervous before the contest starts. I find that when I say this many times to myself “Why Do I Feel So Confident?” I feel a sense of relief. The reason why it works is that when you act or think as if you are confident, confidence starts to build up in you. It’s like planting a seed; the seed grows into a tree. You have probably heard of the saying “Fake it until you make it!” or “Fake it until you become it!”

Try this afformation the next time you feel anxious because you have to perform in front of others. You will find that it’s magical!

Universe

Universe

I Trust in the Goodness of the Universe – affirmation

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the universe is a friendly place.” – Albert Einstein

Einstein went on to explain the meaning behind his quote and here’s what he said:

“For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.

But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

We do not know for sure if the universe is friendly or unfriendly. Maybe the more important question is which assumption works better for us. In the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT (a new form of psychotherapy), there is a key concept called ‘workability’. In ACT, you don’t focus on whether a thought is true or false but whether it is workable. Workable means if the thought helps you to a richer, fuller and more meaningful life. This is a good way to go about things. If we think that the universe is friendly, we behave in a more friendly way. We are more tolerant and loving. Maybe it is not so much if the universe is friendly or unfriendly. Maybe the universe is asking us: what kind of universe do you want?

We all have days when things are just not going our way. Instead of getting depressed, I say this affirmation “I Trust in the Goodness of the Universe” many times. It keeps my mind in a positive state. Try this affirmation for yourself when things are getting you down and see if it works for you.